Random Thoughts on Raising a Son

As my profile notes, we have three wonderful children. The youngest ("the boy", age 3.5) is the subject of this particular post.

Much to my wife's chagrin, The Boy has been totally enamored with all things "dad" for some time now. He wants to do everything with Dad. I thought at first this may be a factor of my frequent business travel (absence making the heart grow fonder, etc etc). However, two things suggest not.

1) my daughters, while always ecstatic to see me return home, don't lavish attention on me to the point of ignoring their mother. EVER.

2) I had a period of about four weeks recently with absolutely no travel (that NEVER happens). During that time, The Boy never abated in his contant quest to spend time with me / have me do things for him / etc.

Don't get me wrong - - I'm not complaining in the least. I'm just processing and developing some thoughts around this. Please note that I am not a university-trained sociologist or psychologist, so feel free to disabuse my hypothoses and certainly go ahead and try this at home.

Thought One: Girls and Boys are different. (please do not notify any mainstream media types that I have stated such blasphemy in the public realm; I don't have time to deal with them!). I think that The Boy naturally wants to spend time with his Dad because he knows we're both guys. Note: this is not unlike the natural affinity that his two elder sisters have long had for their mother. "Nature" is obviously at work here.

Thought Two: While I've known this for some time, his steady presence has reminded me of the enormous responsibility that I have to role-model for him a responsible man / husband / father. He sees how I act around other adults (including other men as we visit at church, soccer practice, etc). He sees how I act around his mother and how she and I communicate and treat one another. He sees how I treat him and his sisters. Because of nature, but through the experience of nurture, he is learning at least one possible way to fill those various roles. The knowledge of that influence on him has certainly impacted me in how I respond to stressful situations in his presence!!

Thougth Three: There are literally millions of young boys (if not tens of millions) growing up with no consistent male figure in their home. Where are they getting their role models? How are they learning how to be a man, a husband, a father? Please don't get me wrong - I remain in awe of anyone able to be a single parent. But in the end, what is the consequence? There are a lot of reasons for this to happen. I'll not comment on any except one. For the fathers who wake up one morning and decide that they don't want that job and just walk out - there is no punishment too great for such perfidy. And unfortunately, that pathetic instance happens all too often. What jerks.

My, what an uplifting post! I'll try to lighten up next time!!